From the Airport

 This is the day I was to return to work.  By circumstance, I am sitting in the Tucomen Airport ((Panama City). My time here adds up exactly one week.  If you were in this situation, here is what you would have done yesterday and the day before.  (Monday and Tuesday).

Monday:

1. Mapped out a strategy to arrive at Seabord Marine, Inc. to book passage for Yota back to Miami.
2. Found out you were in the wrong part of the city. They had moved.
3. Gotten lost for an hour, finally found them after asking directions 5 times.
4. Been graciously attended, gotten Yota manifested onto a ship sailing Wednesday (Today).
5. Returned to the National Office of the Aduana to see if they needed anything further from you.
6. Found out they didn't need anything. All customs would be handled in Colon. Shipping would be from the port of Cristobal.
7. Returned to the Policia Technical Judicial to have what you supposed would be final inspection of the vehicle.
8. You know these guys, so there shouldn't be any problem.  There wasn't really, but they were clearly disappointed that you weren't carrying out your grand scheme for pushing on to Columbia.
9. They checked the car for hidden compartments, etc. It didn't take long and they tell you to come back at 2:30 to get it signed off.  It's 11:30.
10. You decide the police work better with doughnuts, so you drive back to town to buy some. You find the doughnuts, buy a dozen, and get impossibly lost. 
11. You ask directions. A crazy man jumps in your car, and says he will show you the way back. He does, but then insists on taking him back.
12. You take him back, then get lost again. You pay a cab driver to show you the way. You arrive about 2:45.
13. The PTJ gives you a bunch of documents, and directs you to another building to get signed off by the Director Gereral's office.  The PTJ are happy with the doughnuts and make a bunch of photocopys for you free of charge.
14. You then proceed to the Director Generals office where they stamp and sign a rheem of papers and send you on your way.  You breathe a sigh of relief because by then it's 15 minutes before closing time. 

Tuesday:

1. Rise and Shine at 0630.
2. Have breakfast and leave Panama City at 0730 for the 85 kilometer drive to Colon.plenty of time to get everything done.
3. Arrive on the outskirts of Colon about 0930. stop for directions. "Do I need to enter the Central City or is the Aduana before that. First stop is the Colon Main Office of the Aduana"?
4. "No senhor. You can turn off at Cuatro Altos and you needn't enter the city."  "OH Boy, this is going to be easy."
5. No sign for Cuatro Altos or anywhere else.
6. You end up in the city. The traffic is so heavy and the pattern is so confusing that there are five cops (count 'em) directing traffic at one intersection. They look more confused than anyone. You get turned around somehow, headed in the opposite direction and end up in Cristobal instead of Colon.
7. Cristobal is your final destination, so you need to know where it is. But, you are hopelessly lost.
8. You hire another cabby to show you the way.
9. He tells you that you need a special pass to get to the area where then Aduana is. Things are starting to look ugly.
10. He takes you to the building on the main highway where you show your documents and get the needed pass.  The cabby then shows you the way to the Aduana.
11. You enter through a gate for large trucks, not a peedestrian entrance, and some guy motions you to the left. After asking three people, you find the office in the building where you must go.
12. You are very politely attended.  You are told that the manifest documents from Seaboard are not Stamped. you must go to their office in Colon and get them stamped.
13. You thread your way through the maze back to Cristobal.  You find the Seaboard dockside office. Mind you, there are no signs to lead you. You hand your documents to a very nice smiling lady who makes six more copies and stamps them all without uttering a word.
14. You head back to the Aduana. By now, it's probably 2:30 PM.
15. They take 3 or 4 copies of everything, stamp it all, give you the stack of remaining documents.
16. Back to Cristobal.  There you check into to the local dockside Aduana  There your car undergoes a very rigorous inspection. After that you go somewhere else and pay some money.  It's not much. About $7.00.
17. Then someone tells you you need to have your car washed. Someone else tells you you don't have to.
18. Getting a little tired of all this, you drive through the gate to dockside. Someone points at a big white building.  You drive around it looking for an office or an entrance. You find a big ramp and drive up it and into a warehouse.  It's a very big building. You wander around for a while. Then someone tells you to go back out and come in through another door. 
19. You do so . You end up in a small office.  A bunch of forms get filled out and stamped. You are told to go back to your car.  A nice young fellow comes out and inspects it from top to bottom. You sign a paper and think you are done.  Not so fast.  Another older guy comes out. And he does the very same inspectoion. You sign another paper.  He puts a sticker on the window indicating vessel name and destination.  This is good.  Finally you arfe finished. Yota is on her way. Now it's raining. And you are on foot in a strange place.  It's about 4:30 PM.
20. So, you wander out into the steady drizzle. You leave the dockside area, and start to walk down the road to look for a cab to get you to a bus station.
21. Some guy waves you down frantically and says, "You can't walk there."  "I can't, why not?"   "They will rob you!"   "They will, who?"  "The people who live there."  "Live where?"
22. "Over there!"   He motions torward a couple of big apartment buildings.   It does look like a crummy neighborhood.
23. So, you trudge back to the fence and follow the fence line (That puts youi 200 feet father away from the neighborhood. ) Then you start to walk toward the main road.  You are wet, but,, by then the rain has let up a little.
24. 15 minutes later you find a cab..  He stops and you get in. There are 3 other people in the cab.  You tell the driver youi want to go to the bus station. He turns right around and goes straight back to the bad neighborhood you just came from. He goes a little farther and there is a Bus stop with about 12 busses parked.
25. "How do I know which bus to get on?"    "The Prettier one."
26. That would be the big one at the back of the line.  So, you get on and the driver motions you to sit down.
27. It's a nice big bus with comfortable seats.  You take a seat near the back and settle in for the ride back to Panama City.  It's about 5:30. It feels great not to be driving.
28. Aboutr 7:00PM you end up at the main bus terminal in Panama City. The terminal is right next to a really nice modern shopping center.  You treat yourself to na nice steak dinner, and then head to an internet cafe to purchase your trip home. You are, at last, free to leave the country.
29. Then, a short cab ride back to the hotel..You will miss Central America very very much.  It is nothing like your preconceptions and predjudices might have led you to believe.  Nothing at all.